5 Ways To Have More Self-Confidence That You Can Do Today

When it comes to self-confidence, it can sometimes seem like a taboo topic. For me, I didn’t grow up with a lot of self-confidence at all. I was bullied for different things constantly. Things that I couldn’t control. From things such as the color of my hair to my teeth (thank you braces!), to the fact that my parents were divorced. It took me literal decades, but I eventually learned that please other people will not lead to self-confidence. It really is up to you.


Learn to understand criticism

Even to this day, I take everything as criticism. If my grandmother tells me my hair looks weird, I’ll think about it for days. My question is, why do we do this to ourselves? At the end of the day, she technically gave me this hair, so there isn’t much she can say. There are different types of criticism, and you need to know the difference when someone is genuinely trying to help you, and when they have alternative motives.

There’s a saying that basically states if someone is not feeding you, paying your, or…..other things, then their opinion doesn’t matter. Seriously, take this to heart! Your self-confidence is not dependent on what someone else thinks of you. Unless your actions are directly impacting their life, or they are a large part of your life, just push them to the side.

Take care of your health

Self-confidence is ultimately all about our mental health. Times where I was lacking some confidence usually coincide with times that I was pushing how I felt down. I wasn’t acknowledging my feelings, thoughts, or actions. I’ve had some pretty dark times back in the day. Once I realized that my health needed to be a priority, being myself has been so much easier. If your health is suffering, it could be impacting your physical health as well. Stress and anxiety can pack on extra pounds that we don’t need, and those can lead on to additional problems! Do yourself a favor, make sure that you are getting checked out, eating healthy, and drinking tons of water.


Self-confidence is all about being realistic

We all have internal instincts that kick in. If you know that something is making you think less of yourself, you identify it quite quickly. Being realistic about how you’re feeling, or how other people are treating you can open up a new world. Once I was able to say “maybe they are causing this problem”, you would be surprised how different my life was. People I thought were friends left when I dropped habits that were not serving me.

I’m hoping that you care more for yourself than to put yourself in compromising situations. I’m not judging at all, I’ve totally been there! If you have trouble with this area, then grab a journal and write down a list of five things that you find to be most important to you. On that same page, write down a list of five things that change your opinion of yourself. If any of those overlap, make a third list of reasons why that might be happening. Finally, do your best to get rid of anything on that third list!

Bring positivity into your life

Listen, sometimes things just suck. Traffic is awful, Netflix horror movie selection is extremely lacking, and there shouldn’t have been a tie on Ru Paul’s Drag Race Season 4 All-Stars, Trinity The Tuck was the true winner. The point is, we all deal with things that are annoying every day. If you let all of those things add up, you’ll fall into a hole that shouldn’t be there. By focusing on understanding that bad things are just life, you’ll have so much more room for things that you actually enjoy! If you’re looking for some tips about getting rid of negativity, check out this post here!


Just do whatever makes you happy

After all, it is your life. You’re the one running the show, and no one is forcing you to do anything you don’t want to do. Do you hate your job? Start looking into new careers, look into furthering your education, or just ask if there is something you can do that might make you enjoy it. There have been so many times that I didn’t do something because someone else said it wasn’t cool.

I can honestly say that I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life. If that means I’m sitting on my pink chair, watching slime videos, and drinking a caffeine-free Diet Coke, then there is nothing wrong with that. My ultimate point is that self-confidence can only be found inside of you. Take a deep dive into your mind to find what works for you.

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  1. February 23, 2019 / 9:07 pm

    These are all so important! I’m like you; I have such a hard time letting criticisms go! Thank you for the reminder to continue practicing letting these criticisms go. My self-esteem will thank me later!

    • ashleestuart
      February 23, 2019 / 9:33 pm

      You’re so welcome Meagan! Thanks for reading!

  2. candice
    February 24, 2019 / 1:16 am

    Thanks for sharing your great tips

    Candice | NatalyaAmour.com

    • ashleestuart
      February 25, 2019 / 4:52 pm

      You’re welcome Candice! Thanks for reading!

  3. February 27, 2019 / 10:04 am

    I absolutely LOVE this! I can totally relate to taking everything as criticism. Especially in college, I would take every little critique to heart and it would really break me down at an unhealthy level. It was not until I got professional help that I really understood how to manage my thoughts and criticism. Great post!

    • ashleestuart
      February 28, 2019 / 10:44 am

      Thanks so much Juliet! I used to be the same way. I didn’t see any improvement until I started addressing my feelings and thoughts and talked about it as well!

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